I’m pretty dumb, seriously.
But come to think of it,
How dumb can you get & still breathe?
& that’s why i’m not gonna let go, again.
I have a churning stomach caused by the u’ber oily lunch i had. I have a horrendous bangs-like hair. I have a role that i don’t think i can pick up. I have no plans for my birthday. I have lecture to be revised on. I have a broken r/s with God that i need to fix.
I have so many things to showcase the power of my brain juice & to be taken into my concerns but i have no idea what am i doing there getting so vexed.
You are seriously way too nugatory in my life that you are totally a waste of my time, & i’m wasting my time on this post in order to tell you you’re a waste of my time.
& when i see you, every single cell in me unites for the first time in my 17 years & 355 days wanting to escape to scream a YUCKS in your face.
You make me go E.E.E.E.E.E.E.Y.E.R.
A never been asked question had been asked. I didn’t know what i should respond. I didn’t think much about it, but now i am.
Haha, so what really was all that for? To make me a better player? Or because i made a good punching bag?
First time in training that i feel so _____.
Maybe i’m too tired, maybe i’m alr numbed towards it. I don’t care, i just wanna sleep for now. I.A.M.D.A.M.N.S.H.A.G.G.E.D.
I saw you, i hugged you & i want you to know i/we really miss you. ):
The embrace was short but the tight squeeze spoke so much of how you miss me too. It seemed a lil distant but it didn’t take long to make me feel near again. I know you didn’t say, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t think of us.
This picture is from an album named after you.
Seems like bugs of nostalgia are haunting us again. & i’m waiting for my pills to kick in & take effect, so i can have a good night sleep.
Professionals, Managers, Executives and Businesspeople (PMEBs).
Lately i’ve been working at OUB center Boost, & i face these people for consecutive 3 days & i guess i’ve seen what they are capable of.
Pretending they can’t see a wheelchair-bound man in his early 70s stretching out his frail hand with 3 packets of tissue being held so tightly in it.
Yea, these people earn thousands of dollars every month. Some with the latest Prada, Chanel, Yves Saint Lauren products on them but they don’t even bear to spare a penny for this old man when they can easily have that MAGIC card swapped in that machine to purchase these branded goods without much thoughts.
So this is what these educated, sitting-behind-the-desk-of-the-renowned-banks people know: To turn a blind eye to someone who only needs a FREAKING DOLLAR.
Don’t they teach their offsprings to show compassion when they don’t even know how to. I wish you a goodnight sleep without the knocking of your conscience.
Yes, a dollar. Don’t tell me you are saving it for your Gucci.
Seriously speaking, how many know me?
(Oh no, i’d say) How many understand me?
I can only snicker my way off.
Try reading me like a tabloid & you will get nothing out of it. & you might try to open me up like an encyclopedia, then you might find out i’m a Bible. No matter how hard you try, you just don’t get it cause you’re not chosen to read the Bible.
It’s up to you to decide. But i know there is one who reads this Bible every night.
I keep secrets behind those eyes
Feels awkward to see what i have been posting these days?
Drastic change?
Yes. A radical change indeed.
Something is different. It seems like i no longer know how to get my hands on my Bible. I was home when i was supposed to be in church jumping like a nutcase & offering songs of worship & praise to God.
As i was reading my blogspot, livejournal & wordpress, they display the changes. In me.
That’s if you guys still rmb the web.
I know/hope one day i’ll be in the picture again. But it’s not so soon. Forgive me. I love you.
Human.
Some are like tabloids; needless of much knowledge in order to comprehend & most of the time they make not much sense. Stupid in another word.
Some are like billboards; everyone sees them & they know what they are advertising.
Some are like Bible; can only be fathomed by some.
Some are like encyclopedias; when you thought you’ve absorbed every information in it, only then you realize there’s something you don’t quite understand.
Some are like bedtime stories; they seem so easy to be grasped, so superficial. & when you think they are just another same old happy-ending fairy tales that you have already read for a thousand times & that you already know the story before it was told, then you are caught by surprise that they are like treasure map. They ain’t easy to be apprehended & once you’ve done so, you need to ensure you safe keep the treasure.
Making april- Roses & butterflies:
I can see where you are
I can tell you’re enjoying it so far
I would love to escape, but now I’m bound
by the of burn of your eyes
looking on as I’m starting to realize
I’m a pawn in your game and this is checkmate
as the roses lift their heads to catch a glimpse of my demise
you’ll be throwing lies around like ocean waves throw down the tides
and they are breaking on my shore
and the rescue team won’t save me now I’m out too far
so I’ll waste these nights for a while
but I’ll be holding onto you forever
and this is where my heart is cold and torn
as I read the words you wrote last night
the butterflies are creeping through my spine
it’s a thrill I can’t shake
yeah I know we’ve been writing a mistake
but it’s hard to erase the feelings I’ve drawn
I was caught in an awkward silence
broken down by the sound of your prelude that you played
to open our symphony
I’ve been sleeping with the sunrise watching hours pass away
incidentally I’m just waiting for the dusk to kill the day
but now I’m waiting for your call
while I bang on this piano like you care at all
so I’ll waste these nights for a while
but I’ll be holding onto you forever
and this is where my heart is cold and torn
as I hear the words you’re saying tonight
I’m falling for them every single time
as the roses dip their heads a little further to the ground
there’s a season change and all the pinks and whites have turned to brown
will we make it through the fall yeah are we gonna make it through this fall
‘cause I don’t wanna fall with you
I’m trying, we’re dying, yeahhh
I’m taken by your hope-filled lines
they’re well designed and dragging me along
I’ll be waiting for this chance and I’ll be gone
I saw that beautiful tearing eyes hidden between the thick, long eyelashes spelling disappointment & the pain he’s caused you.
I heard the sobbing & gasping of the one who always stands so tall & strong, from the other side of the phone telling me how betrayed you feel.
The messages that you sent had sent not only what you wanna say but also the weariness & prostration the school work has given you . I heard you cried too.
He doesn’t care how much you’ve cried & how much you care.You may think he has become worse but the changing might seem desirable for him.
You heard words from someone you didn’t trust but sometimes you can’t help but to believe the good senior you used to know has changed drastically because of her girlfriend. You may be in the best college with the best teachers, best facilities or whatsoever but the group of people whom you’d trust most are not the best.
& we plan for the future, sometimes i wonder, why plan?
You have no idea what’s coming. A sudden bad weather, a runaway spouse, a bank that longer has money, a jam on the expressway, a house that caught fire. What’s more?
How unpredictable life can be.
When life seems so mundane & meaningless, sleeping your life away seems to be the best way out. Everyday, the feebleness grows & it eats you from inside out.
But one day, you question yourself what are you doing this for?
& many a times, it’s not a question about ability, but just a matter of willingness.
