Gonna be better

Best friend, where are you?

Game was unpleasant to me. My mood sucked. Bad fall & someone hit my face, it’s been long since i last threw such a bad temper on court alr. & i meant BAD. Sorry mates..

Knowing the truth indeed sucks to the core, but learning it makes you realised, makes you contemplate, makes you depressed, makes you feel sucky, makes you feel that twist in the stomach, makes you feel as if the world’s falling, makes you feel like spitting out the dictionary of sleaziness, makes you feel like running away…

But good thing is you know how much one can change! See their true colours & YEA!!! Screw this.

Changing? Thank God for someone who changed for the better & that’s none other than JASMIN TOH JIA MIN( purple for you cause you’re gay)!!!!!!! Man, thank you for your change. If you’re seeing this, thank you my dear senior! You know very well how mean you were. HAHA! You’re so much maturer & more sensitive now can. Thank you for talking some senses into me.

But i know someone will never change other than God. That person.

Lesson learned.

My life was good with you, it’s gonna be better without you.

Simple plan- Crazy:
Tell me what’s wrong with society
When everywhere I look, I see
Young girls dying to be on TV
They won’t stop till they’ve reached their dreams

Diet pills, surgery
Photoshopped pictures in magazines
Telling them how they should be
It doesn’t make sense to me

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what’s going on?
Tell me what’s going on?
If you open your eyes
You’ll see that something is wrong

I guess things are not how they used to be
There’s no more normal families
Parents act like enemies
Making kids feel like it’s World War III

No one cares, no one’s there
I guess we’re all just too damn busy
And money’s our first priority
It doesn’t make sense to me

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what’s going on?
Tell me what’s going on?
If you open your eyes
You’ll see that something is wrong

Is everybody going crazy?
Is everybody going crazy?

Tell me what’s wrong with society
When everywhere I look I see
Rich guys driving big SUVs
While kids are starving in the streets

No one cares
No one likes to share
I guess life’s unfair

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what’s going on?
Tell me what’s going on?
If you open your eyes
You’ll see that something, something is wrong

Is everybody going crazy?
Can anybody tell me what’s going on?
Tell me what’s going on?
If you open your eyes
You’ll see that something is wrong

What if I say I will never surrender?

You’re definitely not a blessing

WALAO aye, i’m so not happy can. My mens’ here, like it comes 2 weeks in advance la! WAHHHHH! REKCHEK ar!

Hahaha, pardon my tantrum. Tmr’s time for me to enjoy my quiet time again! (:

Have you ever felt your heart skipped a beat? Hahaha, as in really skipped! Or maybe a twist in your stomach when you see something or someone? It’s really not a nice feeling you know? But yea, i’m not gonna care bout so much things & i’ve learned not to care. Sometimes, turning a blind eye is better than letting your mind loose & make yourself feel terrible again!

& i’ve realised that walking around the mall alone isn’t really that bad! Try it, it’s fun. (:

Tried banging on the keyboard, managed to play a lil of Lips of an angel. Felt relieved after that? I don’t know, just feel some peace. Ha. More practices awaiting me!

Foo fighters- The pretender:
Keep you in the dark you know they all pretend
Keep you in the dark and so it all began
Send in your skeletons
Sing as their bones go marching in again
They need you buried deep
The secrets that you keep are ever ready
Are you ready
I’m finished making sense
Done bleeding ignorance at home defense

Spinning and spinning deeper
The wheel is spinning me
It’s never ending
Never ending
Same old story

What if I say I’m not like the others
What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays
You’re the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender

In time or so I’m told
I’m just another soul for sale
Oh well
The page is out of print
We are not permanent
Temporary
Temporary
Same old story

What if I say I’m not like the others
What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays
You’re the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender

I’m the voice inside your head
You refuse to hear
I’m the face that you have to face
Mirroring your stare
I’m what’s left
I’m what’s right
I’m the enemy
I’m the hand that took you down
Bring you to your knees

So who are you
Yeah who are you
Yeah who are you
Yeah who are you

Keep you in the dark you know they all pretend

What if I say I’m not like the others
What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays
You’re the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender

So who are you
Yeah who are you
Yeah who are you

No, i won’t stay.

It’s good to know that you didn’t miss another sunset.

Woohoo! First game starts on Sunday, 5.30pm @ SBC. Hornets vs T-net.

Before game, guess i’m going to East coast park with sis, Jonathan & Joven to cycle? HAHAHA! & maybe to town after it! What an energy- draining day, but hope this schedule will not change.

‘ve completed my RWP & Excel tests, more coming up after vacation weeks! Shucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Was playing my electronic dictionary when Xinyu came across this word “Cakehole”. Ok, i know it sounds wrong & obscene but it’s not! It actually means :” Mouth.. ” HAHAHA! Not every word that ends with “hole” is vulgar alright. :X

& have you ever wonder how people around you can change so much? Seen so many friends changed, from those who were almost so true to the lounge lizards whom i know today. This is a worrying thing to God i’d say. Such a pity..

My dearest, Jayne has all the nice songs to recommend. Brought to you today;

Midnight hour- Running away:
Don’t lie and say that it’s okay
It’s alright if there’s nothing more to say

So I’m running away, I’m leaving this place
Yeah… I’m running away, I’m running away

Don’t tell me I’m the one to blame
It’s too late for you to make me stay. No, I won’t stay

So I’m running away, I’m leaving this place,
Yeah… I’m running away, I’m running away

And faster than you can follow me from this lonely place
And farther than you can find me, I’m leaving, yeah… I’m leaving today

I, I’ll never let you find me, I’m leaving you behind with the past and No I won’t look back
And I don’t want to hear your reasons, don’t want to hear you tell me why I should stay
Try, try to understand me, try to understand what I say when I say I can’t stay
I, I’m moving on from this place, leaving and I won’t wait, I’m running away

I’m running away, Im leaving this place,
Yeah…Im running away, Im running away

I’m not living this life

Mind that eyes

Thought i could rest more tmr as school starts at 1pm & who knows this CCPB case study just popped up & it’s so gonna deprive me of my sleep… -.- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! URGHHHH!!

I’m not pleased like totally.. I wanna sleep la!!@#$%^&*

SA 08S23’s outing next week! Haven’t seen them for 1894613219846294 long alr. Only one i last saw was Sophia? Or Liting? Ha, just hope nothing crops up last minute!

Turning in soon! HAHA! Goodnight!

Secondhand serenade- Like a knife:
I did a lot, I know you say
I’ve got to get away.
“The world is not yours for the taking”
Is all you ever say.
I know I’m not the best for you,
But promise that you’ll stay.
‘Cause if I watch you go,
You’ll see me wasting, you’ll see me wasting away

‘Cause today, you walked out of my life
‘Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I’m not living this life.

Goodbyes are meant for lonely people standing in the rain
And no matter where I go it’s always pouring all the same.
These streets are filled with memories
Both good for detected pain
And all I wanna do is love you
But I’m the only one to blame.

‘Cause today, you walked out of my life
‘Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I’m not living this life.

But what do I know, if you’re leaving
All you did was stop the bleeding.
But these scars will stay forever,
These scars will stay forever
And these words have no meaning
If we cannot find the feeling
That we held on to together
Try your hardest to remember

Stay with me,
Or watch me bleed,
I need you just to breathe.

‘Cause today, you walked out of my life
(stay with me, or watch me bleed)
‘Cause today, your words felt like a knife
(i need you just to breathe.)
I’m not living this life

I could spend my life in this sweet surrender

MY days have been so-so. I’m perfectly fine, just need more rest. Seriously speaking, so many things happened this month. My friends.. & i.

I just pray that things will turn out right again. Life is all about ups & downs yea? Gotta emerge stronger & victorious!

Another sunday, another training day, another tiring day! BUT! BBQ at Mr Neo’s house at night for the formation of Hornets girls team!

Chalet’s coming! YEESSA!!! I miss this kind of event!!

Ladder 49 at 6.45pm & Van helsing at 10.30pm tmr!!! GOSH! You don’t know how crazy i got over Van helsing 4 years back. HAHA. Kate beckinsale is whoooo~

Eyes glue to Mindhunters, chatting with Nellyn & posting right now, multi-tasking! (: I’m not good at this though! HAHA!

Just because lips have met doesn’t mean hearts have joined.

Aerosmith- I don’t wanna miss a thing:
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you’re far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
And every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

I don’t wanna close my eyes
I don’t wanna fall asleep
‘Cause I’d miss you, babe
And I don’t wanna miss a thing
‘Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I’d still miss you, babe
And I don’t wanna miss a thing

Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I’m wondering what you’re dreaming
Wondering if it’s me you’re seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we’re together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever

I don’t wanna close my eyes
I don’t wanna fall asleep
‘Cause I’d miss you, babe
And I don’t wanna miss a thing
‘Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I’d still miss you, babe
And I don’t wanna miss a thing

I don’t wanna miss one smile
I don’t wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

We built it up, to watch it fall

Smile like you mean it : D

2 kids beside me are watching SAW I & Criminal minds AGAIN. So naturally, i watch with them! My attention has been diverting. But i’m trying my hardest to listen to Dr Ng.

You know, my brain cells are kinda depleting nowadays due to so many overwhelming events that need my brain to function so much more as compared to usual. I thought i won’t be able to take this, but apparently i can! I guess i’m becoming stronger each time this kind of thing happens.

I’ve done everything that i can, no regrets baby! (:

Nick Lachey- I can’t hate you anymore:
An empty room can be so deafening,
The silence makes you wanna scream,
It drives you crazy.
I chased away the shadows of your name,
And burned the picture in a frame,
But it couldn’t save me.

And how could we quit something we never even tried,
Well you still can’t tell me why.

We built it up,
To watch it fall.
Like we meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn’t give you what you need.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what your looking for.
But no matter how I try,
I can’t hate you anymore.
…I can’t hate you anymore.

Your not the person who you used to be,
The one I want who wanted me,
And that’s a shame but,
There’s only so many tears that you can cry.
Before it drains the light right from your eyes,
And I can’t go on that way.
And so I’m letting of everything we were,
It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

We built it up,
To watch it fall.
Like we meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn’t give you what you need.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what your looking for.
But no matter how I try,
I can’t hate you anymore.

Sometimes you hold so tight,
It slips right through your hands.
Will I ever understand?

We built it up,
To watch it fall.
Like we meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn’t give you what you need.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what your looking for.
But no matter how I try,
I can’t hate you anymore [x2]

What love can be greater than this?

Finally able to settle down for my tv & some report to be completed!

Just reached home from Alliance Francaise! Yes, working there now! OLIO still. Love my job can, it’s always serving ang mohs. Amelia, if you see this, i’m not exactly crazy over ang mohs but i like serving them cause their friendliness & joyousness are what you can hardly receive from SINGAPOREANS.

American idol’s rolling now! David cook is hot, David archuleta is cute!

“You are mine the first time i made you, you are mine the second time i bought you.” What love can be greater than this?

Can’t rewrite my history

Just reached home from my run. Yes, run. Ran for around 20 mins, but couldn’t go on any longer as i could feel a blister’s forming on my sole. Stopped, walked on the road side with the scorching sun hanging above me. Sun isn’t a big issue to me though, i just had so much flashbacks of my life nowadays.

The recurring knocks of emotions for these 2 days were simply too much, so much that i can’t possibly talk bout it here at one go. & i don’t want to talk bout it anymore. My moods have been fluctuating. It’s kinda overwhelming you know.

A little detail bout ytd. Made our way down to airport, pampered ourselves a little with Swensens & Starbucks. & simply had our own quiet time to think about the things that have been happening in our lives recently. Letting the music running on its own & think, it helps.. Thank God for you girl, i hope you’re feeling better now alright?

Life is all about people coming & going. Some stayed, some just walked away. Some stayed a little longer, some stayed to join in the fun. Some walked away so slowly that you could have stopped that person from leaving, some walked away so hastily that you couldn’t even catch a glimpse of that person. Why is it only until everything has been drawn with a full-stop then will you hide your face in your hands with regrets & sorrow? You see, someone told me: ‘Human only know how to treasure until they’ve lost something, if they ever know how to treasure in the first place, they wouldn’t have lost it at all.’ It’s the same old thing. It’s easy to preach it but to practise it or not, it’s another case.

Saw my reflection in the POSB bank doors. The lines formed by the exertion of my thigh & calf muscles were rather defined. People might think it’s gross for girls to have muscles that are “well-built”, cause being skinny is the trend now. Having just a layer of skin over that skeleton is called pretty. OH PLEASE. I’m sorry that i used to think like how the world thinks too, being skinny is the first criteria to be a CHIO BU. But i’ve had enough of all these nonsense. I think i’m pretty too! Hahahah! I’m not being bhb here, just stating the facts. Everyone has different definition of beauty, some thinks that the thicker the make-up on a girl &/ the shorter the skirt &/ the more her cleavage is shown is called CHIO. I’m sorry world, this is wholes loads of crap. My definition of beauty is someone who just be herself! I’m not referring to myself LA!

To be frank, i like certain angles of my face, i like the lines shown by my thigh & calf muscles & my biceps, i like the way i laugh, i just like myself! This ain’t narcissism, just that i think it’s time to love myself cause i haven’t been loving myself , making myself feeling so miserable was all i knew. It’s time for misery to end. Cause i’ve seen a different peirong in the reflection..

Wishing for the smiles to be back once again..

Shannon Noll- Now i run:
Tell me how the circle ends
Theres no beginning
Everything that came before
Will come round again
And I look in the mirror
My fathers eyes look back at me

He gave me a road to choose
He gave me freedom
And I pray Im strong enough
To walk in his shoes
And I hope that I become
Half the man he’d want me to be

Cos I feel you guiding me
Showin me the way when Im misdirected
I know your not here but I feel connected

Chorus
Cos everything that I am
Comes from a better man
And all that Ive said and done
Cant rewrite my history
Right there for all to see
Im just my fathers son
Taught me to walk, now I run
Now I run

Sometimes when I lose myself
In my weakness
I can feel the touch of his
Unmistakable hands
And theyre pushing me forward
Back into the circle again

And I hope my son sees in me
The kind of man that he was to me

Chorus

And everything that I am
comes from a better man
And all that Ive said and Ive done
Cant rewrite my history
Right there for all to see
Im just my fathers son
Taught me to walk, now I run
I run

Got this way, upfront but never true.

Managed to get my hands on I&OC report! Man, i’m like kinda zombified now.

Met up with Naiying, Cheehoa & Oliver ytd. K-box then IRONMAN! GOSH! IT’S SUPER COOL CAN! Like there hasn’t been any show that could captivate me like how IRONMAN did! It’s really good, MUST WATCH!!! Nai sang Always be my baby for me, she made me cried.. ): Thanks dear anw!

Sentosa today with Yuhong, Xinyu & Black! Jy joined us later. See, the main 5… The old days are missed..

That was where you used to lean on.

Acceptance- Different:
Tell myself, on the ride home.
Getting tired, hating all I’ve known.
Holding on, like it’s all I have.
Count me out, when it’s clear that I, find it hard to say.
And you, find it hard to care.

I wanted to see something that’s different, something you said would change in me.
Wanted to be, anything different, everything you would change in me.

Got this way, upfront but never true.
God I’m wrong, it’s just the way I am.
Crashing down, any chance you hear.
Caving in, any chance that you, could see inside of me.
And I, I’ll know what to say, It’s fine.
This isn’t Hollywood.
So fine, getting in your way.

I wanted to see something that’s different, something you said would change in me.
Wanted to be, anything different, everything you would change in me.

I’m taking a chance, this could be different.
This could be all I’m waiting for.
Taking a chance, this could be different.
This could be all I’m waiting for.

I wanted to see something that’s different, something you said would change in me.
Wanted to be, anything different, everything you would change in me.

Something that’s different (something that’s different)

bye to my dear, hi to my friend

Looks like this is the way things were meant to be.

Take care, my friend.

It was just another picture perfect

Avenged Sevenfold- Dear God:
A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can’t help but wish that I was there
Back where I’d love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I’m not around,
when I’m much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I’d stayed
‘Cause I’m lonely and I’m tired
I’m missing you again oh no
Once again

There’s nothing here for me on this barren road
There’s no one here while the city sleeps
and all the shops are closed
Can’t help but think of the times I’ve had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I’m not around,
when I’m much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I’d stayed
‘Cause I’m lonely and I’m tired
I’m missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
when hope begins to fade…

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I’m not around,
when I’m much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I’d stayed
‘Cause I’m lonely and I’m tired
I’m missing you again oh no
Once again